love those who are close to you maaang

the energy that is measured by the windows of reality my body provides, connects me directly to the comprehensible world that can be seen, felt, touched, tasted and ultimately contemplated. the information that streams constantly from our senses to our brain constantly gets processed at speeds that are relatively instantaneous. this information then gets filtered in countless ways whether it be the limitations of our biology, the efficiency at which our bodies detect and convert this information as well as our own unconscious psychological dispositions created by the ego. finally after all of this unintentional filtering this information finally gets processed under your own personal lens which the ego chooses to view the world, resulting in various and unique interpretations. the final product you could say after all of this converting and interpreting of information might very well be but an indefinitely small fraction of what "reality" actually is.

but of course, you already are aware of this. and aware of how humbling it really is.

even now what i am doing is a perfect example of how the mind constructs ideas with information that is incomplete. i am not a neurologist, or a psychologist therefore i lack the knowledge necessary to formulate such grand assumptions, and grand assumptions they truly are. yet with such fragmented information and without complete understanding i am capable of creating perfectly logical reasoning, thus completing a puzzle with no finite solution but rather infinite solutions with only but a few pieces. i think that its safe to speculate that the entire human species does this.

science would eloquently announce in terms of the direct consequence for being an sentient being alive experiencing this strange world, we tend to develop a construct of ideas about what this reality ought to be, we in turn identify with ideas and objects in order to help us navigate more efficiently in this material realm, finally projecting our processed version of reality into the world . with all of this being said, it is then interesting to consider that these objects of thought that create our identity as we attach ourselves to them would appear to be ultimately trivial, superficial and shallow understandings of ourselves and of the reality we experience. it is also then interesting to consider the world which we inhabit now is nothing but a collective construct created by each one of our egos networking together, to form some kind of habitat in which our egos can continue to feed their incessant hunger for more. meanwhile the true reality behind the drapes of illusion patiently exists, and i can assure you its indifferent to the fact whether we come to realize this ultimate existence or not. at this point i would like retort to all of the anti ego banter that has been the rave and consider for a moment that the ego actually is important and even necessary in order to survive and function as human beings as of and up until most recently. it is no mystery that our ancestors provided the foundations to allow our conscious selves evolve and excel at the rate we are now. our ancestors utilized primal instinctual drives to insure our survival, ego itself was the main driving tool that allowed our species to survive for as long as it has although being violently aggressive and selfish in nature. natural selection has allowed the stronger and dominant genes to continue replicating, creating even more intelligent beings equating to our own point in the present. but this is where the powers of the ego go unrestrained as we are seeing now. it is no mystery that we live in the century of the "self" an extremely self orientated world where the desires of the individual outweigh the needs of others, nobody can argue that they are exempt from this fate, we all share this inherited pathology and denying it or claiming that you are distinguishably immune from this proves that you are so intertwined with how the self identifies with its image, it feels necessary to defend itself. in turn you become a hypocrite. admitting to a mental illness is the first step to recovery, and this mental pandemic has struck every human being, here and there sparks of ingenuity and creativity ignite the courageous few who understand the nature of this and expose it, only to be subject to ridicule and persecution. the stigma of the ego has become so prolific it has evaded nearly all degrees of life thus becoming a threat to life itself. the construct of the atom bomb was no doubt the work of the ego as well as all other acts of countless violence that has been committed, the survival that the ego once insured of the species, now has become the most lethal monstrous force that threatens the very existence of all life on earth. it has forced a narrow and one dimensional view of life upon all of us, the most threatening of it all is that it tricks you into believing that you cannot exist without it, people act the same way, especially in relation to religious dogmatism including alternative religious movements such as the new age, and astrology (not saying that religious belief is wrong, just the dogma and exploitation of individuals). this bigotry is apparent in sectarian violence, racial discrimination, sexual discrimination, business, social and family institutions. it dictates all human experience.

so why am i even bothering talking about this? it is because as of late, an illumination bright as day has shown me that even now in the postmodern age, we still rely entirely on the ego to give us fulfillment, though we think that many of us are spiritually savvy enlightened beings feel once again exempt from the humbling fact that more likely than not, your are blatantly wrong. these douchebags are everywhere parading themselves as tomes of wisdom that behold esoteric knowledge of the ages, and i ask the universe why oh why has it come down to this disgraceful point in our existence where we can no longer distinguish the true prophets from the false. at this rate it seems that humanity is destined to live the rest of its miserable days with its fat head up is ass. i dont have the answers, i dont know who has the answers, im just an observer who feels like shits awry fucked.

skeeter rabbit

i remember specifically stressing having separate rooms

growing pains

i still my mouth in fear of uttering idle talk
in your eyes im being distant and cold
pride fossilized in an aging rock
this act of insecurities is getting old

eyes ablaze with suspicion
hands reluctant with distrust
jaded your lens causes cloudy vision
oxidizing my image, i rust

your love for me is polar and torn in duality
a mentality in mystery
why is it you hide your identity
if it was meant to be, i expect respect and honesty
and possibly an understanding of privacy

but i am feeling the pressure to be shaped according to your measures
and at your expenditure my free will is billed to yours truly

opposites attract like white on black but sometimes the division reveals two hearts that slack
its a matter of fact, our feelings match but you gotta hold your own and thats where its at
positive contact!
energies enormous we bounce back
and so is the story of how the left shook hands with the right
held on tight to assure that they just might unveil the curtain and see the light
but heads continue to bounce and egos fight till death
mouths run off just to get the last breath
respect my space and ill respect yours
or one of us might end up closing the door
external pressures make this new venture challenge to self, a true mind bender
but theres beauty within the struggle, see it with all its splendor.
as time passes my interest dwindles, docility too dull and simple
we are young, vibrant lets explore the possibilities
and not get too caught up within trivialities

im tired of running around in circles.