funky figures.

Current theory and observations suggest that the universe is between 13.6 and 13.8 billion years old. as to what stirred the big bang into existence is still a mystery. using my superior mathematical skills i have created a formula by multiplying the golden ratio with the number of funkatrons that make up a funky molecule chillen on moldy cheese from 4 day old pizza, divide that by the amen break you get the omega point. i have discovered that the primordial mover of all manifested existence is in fact the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, Funk. the Funk boundless, infinite and eternally raw. some say that it all started when the galactic cosmic booty was disturbed as it came across heavy bass that erupted from a portal from the dub dimension. once these fundamental energies collided into one another the heavenly rump shook violently, twerkulating, gyrating, bouncing. as the ass cheeks rubbed together something miraculous happened. the funk exploded into existence and created to what we know today as the universe.

where does the funk reside?

the funk is not a process of becoming.
it is rather a process of realization
you already are the funk. the funk is all as it transcends both time and space.
it lies dormant within you, and occasionally it will poke its smelly visage in a stand of pungent glory. the funk is obnoxious in a musky sense, it secretes as your ass cheeks rub each other from a night of filthy bass. it thrives in sweaty armpits. the funk is best manifested as a dense, humid layer that expands in a room where jungle love has ensued, the essence can also be found in bootsy collins durrty drawers or george clintons dreadlocks. the funk exists on a napkin that sly stone used to wipe BBQ sauce off his funky lips. everything can be reduced to the funk, even rick astley himself harnesses a funky energy so large that it imploded in on itself and expressed in ways never seen before (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0) the culprit of baby making everywhere, this celestial force will forever be the initial begining and the omega point of all, all that will ever be and not be. the funk is empty, yet saturated with bodily juices. the funk is both malevolent and benevolent. it is the light and it is the darkness simultaneously.

the four noble truths according to funkism

1. funk is neither nor is it ever not.
2. Funk is fun. And it's also a state of mind, ... But it's all the ramifications of that state of mind. Once you've done the best you can, funk it!
3. the funk is the total sum of when you subtract the difference between how an ass cheek bounces from side to side. and you know that funk is hiding in there somewhere.
4.i gots the funk you gots the funk, who gots the funk? we gots the funk.