hear ye oh ancestral awareness
allow me to disturb your peace so i may apologize
for the wisdom of the past has not been revealed
and my vision is obscured by the christian veil
i am sorry i lay ignorant to your beautiful culture
to your customs and traditions
to your wisdom and natural knowledge
hear my plea worshippers of nature
i too have seen the piercing rays of the sun
and i ride the chariot of fire across the horizon
Bialybog and Czarnebog i ask your opposing natures to help me maintain balance

business unattended
everyday im presented with your memory relentless,
flagellated with barbs of my own procrastinaton
the tools of our trade empty handed lay dormant in our creation

i willfully cling to an image that brought me pleasure and pain
two hearts slain, and yet i still find myself still chained
once again to the pervading image of your memory
trumped all rationality, my emotions get the best of me

its a burden i keep till the moment i sleep
dreams casting shadows of you between the bed sheets
ingrained in grey matter, your manners and laughter
a bond forged that can not ever be shattered

feelin good nina simone

Birds flyin' high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel
Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me
yeah, its a new dawn its a new day its a new life for me ooooooooh
AND I'M FEELING GOOD

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin' free you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree you know how I feel
Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me
And I'm feelin good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what i mean dont you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleepin' peace when day is done that's what I mean
And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the crime you know how I feel
Your freedom is mine, and I know how I feel
Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

OH I'M FEELING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

my own extreme right.

my chest feels like a chasm, chewed away slowly by the insatiable hunger of a termite colonies spirit. distant echoes ricochet off of the cold walls, mere remnants of who i once was clearly long vacated this rotting premiss of a hollow shell. i can feel it slip throughout my orifices, down my arms and through my fingertips. the warmth of human emotion slowly depleting, the cold calculation of indifference adjusts its parameters to my own proportions. i am afraid, yet i am unsure of what i need to do next. my ability to feel is diminishing as some sort of quasi defence mechanism continues to inhibit my spirit into a perfect cube that is lighted by unforgiving florescents. under the scrutinizing eye of logic, nothing seems to escape my analysis and judgement. the concept of love quarrels in a petri dish underneath the microscopic lense, and yet no root is found, only the ever changing metamorphosis and evolution of how this love manifests and multiplies. it cant be defined nor confined, yet i seek to see that it does get labeled, sanitized, vaccum packed sealed and filed alphabeticlly into my own cabinet of grey matter. i am running around in this sadomascohistic endeavor into my own oblivion, i know it cannot be pin pointed yet i try to plot it on a map. self destructive behaviour wouldnt you say?

as i continue to fortify myself in the comforts of reason, i continue to find myself bored, unamused, unimpressed, apathetic, jotting my rightful place in the assembly line of society. where has all my passion gone i wonder? i remember it clearly the feeling, the emotion, the awareness of being alive to the fullest!!!! how glorious, daring, adventurous, and speldidly wonderful it was to feel that utter and primal nature down to the very core. i miss that primordial essense more than anything, the unforgiving rawness is what i want. i could risk it all at this point just to know that i could get back to that.

as you can see from my lack of content. i am bored.

she comes in the form of a sleek silhouette surface of desire, sheer and steep the angle falls as it crescendos into finer and sexier forms. her complexion fairer than the glimmering surfaces of refined marble, accentuate those orbs that reflect the coldest shards of blue, and i witness in awe the enigmatic presence that follows her every step. her ankles support a brisk hop n skip of subtle innocence, but her hips sway with such relentless lust that i keep a watchful eye and tread softly......tread softly onto her curves, i work the angles and calculate the crevices. interlocked in such a primal act of release and expression, and with an exchange of smiles i am lifted to be momentarily suspended in that hearth where life originates, and in that violence there is unforgiving love whithin that exchange of intant reciprocity. a triad of gratification. physical, emotional, spiritual.

we are all faucets of creativity in our own way. whether its positive or negative you are in control of the flow. sometimes however the piping can be obstructed with all sorts of constricting bullshit. the force of the backlogged energies eventually will spring a leak thus causing unwanted problems which will undoubtedly manifest themselves of the most damp and soggy. i am the rusted marble sink of neglect. i vomit profusely my soul into the arms of my shallow bowl, in my own awe and wonder i speculate at my own articulate projections. what i see in this bowl is purely a reflection of myself looking right back up at me, unfiltered, raw and real. there is no shame to be had, i am a perfect manifestation of spirit in whatever form i choose to express myself. i need to unblock the passageways, there are too many obstructions keeping me away from my own freedom of expression. unfortunately i have to say that majority of it stems from my own home, the people who dwell under this roof, my so called family. i wish i could help liberate them, but i have tried and failed to loosen the noose. their paths have been set for them to decide where it leads, i can only worry about myself in the meantime.