after hours at the rockshop

chillen aferhours in the rockhop, the fluorescent open sign is closed and the metal link gate is closed. let the music making commence. smoking a ciggarete in the recording room i observe the maze of cords for mics and amps snake around my feet. the room is blue with the tobacco smoke, gin and tonic was sipped freely, joints were being passed, and the individuals taking part in the ritual of pregaming each independantly sought their connection with the gods of groove, the gods of funk and the gods of metal. two krews openly divided into a polarity of lifestyle, the rock n rollers with their desert rock influenced jambouree, sleeve tatoos, 80s hair, tight pants, stories of debaucherous nights fueled cocaine and jack daniels. on the other side of the spectrum we were the hooded stoners, a mish mash of all musical influences all condensed into one, 90 steez that never left. stories of countless nights deliving into the schizophrenic world of psychoactives and the spiritual realms of entheogens, we sat, hoods up and chink eyed. we completed a quentissential ying yang relationship in the jam room. they were fucked on coke and we were flying on shrooms, the energies collided insanely but found its harmony whithin the erotic eloping my drumming had with the guitarist in his cocaine stupor and with calders stoner grooves on the bass. my mind was built for music. we jammed the night away. too much testosterone. out of conrol. violent spirit.

sex inside a subwoofer


the deeper the bass the deeper the penetration
the wickid smirks on our faces, this is pure evil
lubricated with sweat the deed is fucking filthy
dirt, grime, funky residues.
skrew around for a little while, dubstep is the devils music.
eargasmic, i am violated by the lo-fi rapes me through the frequencies
oh god, shes starting to bite her lip, it means she likes it.

mundane prophecies

1:30 in the afternoon i lift my droggy head from a bed that is not even my own, my mind trying to calibrate itself from being in the dream realm. as vivid as they are, and i remember they are getting more increasingly vivid, i can only remember fragemented bits and pieces of them. sigh* another 24 in the mundane waking state some of us courageously call life, my selfish body demands so much. the saliva tastes stale in my mouth, the hair on my head smells like musk against my pillow and what little hair i can grow triumphantly makes its pathetic existence known as i rub my hand over my lips and chin. what does it all mean? i hardly ask this question and i now realize i should do it every morning. why do i even get up in the morning? what is the purpose that drives me to wake up in the first place, what am i trying to fulfill? for me, i really have to look very hard to find the beauty in the place i live. i have my family, my friends my music and the arts to keep me from losing my sanity for the most part. but beyond that everything else i find to be very unpleasantly boring, and fucking cold, fraudulent, spiritually lacking and all of these things seem to trickle down and latch themsleves onto me turning me into a unpleasantly boring, cold, fake and spiritually lacking being. lacking beuty, lacking the love i want to give, lacking the love i want to recieve, lacking the mental and physical stimualtion i desire for, lacking the culture and the sense of community i was built for. i am more concerned for humanity at a global spiritual scale than i am for my own sake, where the fuck are we going? its chaos, uncontrolled and rampant. the ones who are tring to salvage anything good and decent in this world are losing their minds faster and taking it the hardest, confused and lost they seem, trying to cling onto the things that they are comfortable with. i miss the smiles i used to see, well maybe its because im not smiling that i fail to notice them.

The most fucked up dream ever

my family and i were in some sort of fantasy amusement park with really bizzare atractions, rides that looked like instant death. a carnival of surrealistic proportions. i remember we got on this rollercoaster type ride that was built extremely flimsy but skyrocketed at high speeds. at one of the dips i remember falling out and holding on with one hand, my body flailing in the wind. after the amusement park i remember going back to apparently was my home, a house i have never seen before. my family was there all complaining to me how i didnt have a job and because of it i wasnt able to spend my birthday with my friends. my friends arrived to take me on a roadtrip, i remember seeing amir, paul, derrick, calder, a few other familiar places from the krew. my family shooed them out of the house rather rudely and i became furious so i went into the garage to dance to really dirty dubstep in front of a huuuuuge subwoofer and speaker stack that was playing from a huuuuge boombox. the scene transformed into me being in a truck with my dad going somewhere, we got into a fight that turned violent and i knew he was out to kill me. he chucked me into the back seat of the truck and i waited for the perfect moment to strike. we were going down a freeway when i kicked him out of the door and he started rolling on teh road, the truck steered itself with n odriver. my dream turned into something of a grand theft auto game from there, i remember seeing a map with indicators telling my position and my dads, he was gaining lots of speed. he managed to grab the open window and i grabbed a baseball bat to smoke him off, it worked and i was finally free. i then took control of the steering and tried to make my way home, but i could see that my dad was taking a different route and he was going to get there first. so i decided to book it to another city. the scene changed and it appeared i was at this city living there for quite a while now, i met an entirely figment group of individuals i have never met before. the city seemed to be in a state of crisis, i remember i was a hustler with a group of thugs on the street and we sould hustle people as they walked buy. but then this guy in like a biohazard suit was running towards us all bloody an di was ably ot think of one thing. ZOMBIES!!!! i started to book it as fast as i could in the opposite direction as did all of my thug friends, i ran and ran, i remember spending the night at a really seedy train station all alone. the nect morning i booked it to an old industrial yard where i met some people hiding in large waste bins, it was a scorching summer day and i remember smiling at the sun. we talked about how to get out of the city, and i felt really intimately close with these group of survivors. i was able to see groups of zombies i nthe distance, they surrounded us and were getting closer. they started to break in to a sprint and i notified everyone. there was no place to go so i instictively hid under a blanket and grabbed an old mop as a weapon to fend them off. i could hear them bustling and moaning outside, one of them managed to climb over and collapse right on top of me, he looked really cheesy and pathetic and i kind of giggled. then i woke up.

pseudo science and alternative belief systems

Pseudoscience, New age beliefs, astrology, alternative healings such as homeopathy, rheiki, crystal energy healing and all other sorts of scientifically untested medicinal procedures have skyrocketed whithin the past 20 years or so. I have inquired as to what makes these alternative medicines so appealing and why people seek them out abandoning conventional practices in the first place. modernity brought upon the age of reason, man let go of his dogmatic belief in the unseen and started observing the seen physical world making his own responcibility in trying to explain natural phenomena. this was accomplished through experimentations, by testing under natural and controlled conditions whether archaic/mythical beliefs were "real" or whether certain beliefs were wrought upon delusions to help man cope with his own existence. it is remarkable to see that even in the postmodern age where we depend on the historical findings of scientific truth, that many of us refuse to accept its validity and in many cases refuse medical treatment that has been proven to help the pathology at hand.

astrology is indeed one of the most pervasive new age beliefs. it has survived chirstian persecution, and even smiles smugly at in the face of reason. Nearly every human in the western hemisphere has brushed contact with astrology, it is popularized in newspapers, magazine collumns, entire books and philosophies are published upon its behalf. even i have submerssed myself into the new age culture and astrological traditions myself to find that whithin my own experience the readings and results of such to be rather interesting and in many cases accurate. now as i sit back and take a critical perspective on the suject i look at astrology under the scrutinizing eye of critical thinking too see what the emperical eye observes. wikipedia defines astrology as "a group of systems, traditions, and beliefs in which knowledge about the relative positions of celestial bodies and related details aids in understanding, interpreting, and organizing information about personality, human affairs, and other terrestrial matters. Astrologers believe that the movements and positions of celestial bodies either directly influence life on Earth or correspond somehow to events experienced on a human scale. Modern astrologers define astrology as a symbolic language, an art form, and a form of divination, whereas many scientists have labeled it a pseudoscience or superstition." is this merely suggestive wishful thinking, or is something our of the ordinary actually occuring here beneath scientifical explanation? i have tried to look for the mechanics and methadology as to how it was discovered that celestial cosmic bodies were significant and influential to everyday human life. how is it possible that constellations assignned to an individual according to the date of his birth be affected by the entity or archtype in which astrological house he inhabits?

astrologers have not presented consistent physical mechanistic explanations as to how cosmic bodies influence earthly events. some astrologers have suggested that a more casual subtle relationship exists beyond scientific detection. An editorial published by the Astronomical Society of the Pacific reports that they can find no evidence for a scientifically defined mechanism by which celestial objects can influence terrestrial affairs. basically it cannot be proven by scientifical trial. Still others have argued that empirical correlations can stand on their own epistemology, and do not need the support of any theory or mechanism. To some observers, these non-mechanistic concepts raise serious questions about the feasibility of validating astrology through scientific testing, and some have gone so far as to reject the applicability of the scientific method to astrology almost entirely. Some astrologers, on the other hand, believe that astrology is amenable to the scientific method, given sufficiently sophisticated analytical methods, and they cite pilot studies to support this view.

if the scientific method cannot be applied to astrology, then what can? it appears to be as unmeasurable as whithin the argument of the Judeo/christian god. does the mere belief in something illicit a response? is it self induced delusion? or is there actually something occuring that is beyond conventional detection, perhaps the leap of faith is actually required in this case to be in "tune" with the results. does it hold literal truth, is it merely metaphorical or is it a false outdated method. i personally have a very keen interest on the subject but at the same time i do not devote my entire belief on it. it must be verified by trial where evidence is supported or it must be experienced in full effect. it would be foolish to assume otherwise. i will say though that astrology has a fundamental role in filling necessary gaps whithin the human experience, after all it did pave the way for astronomy. regardless of its alltruistic debate it still exists and therefore is a perfect manifestation of spirit as is science. its awe is whithin its existence itself and must be respected as such, the relationship it has with science is secular and represents the eternal struggle between rationality and irrationality. the belief lies whithin the beholder in this case so you choose, pre-rational mumbo jumbo? or otherwordly knowledge?


NEXT I TACKLE HOMEOPATHY!!!!

TBC.......

tha white girl

naw gurl im sorry but i gotta pass the date
im not to keen on my love interests arriving in milk crates
anemic bodies makes me feel frail, whats ailin ya? the sun to bright?
god damnit where does the wall end and where do you start
FOR FUCKIN SAKES GIRL SEEK THE LIGHT!!!!!!
I DONT REALLY CARE IF YA CLAIM YA PUSSY'S TIGHT
HA who ya foolin, i know your goods are already bruisin
washboard ass so slick im slippin, dont it hurt when your sittin?

neva cravin for the caucasian, who the fuck wants to be slavin in that womans haven
you know she'l have your balls in a vice, she cant afford to feel her heart its fucking cold as ice.

OOOOOH SHIT
double wrap before you tap
you might wake up the next mornin discoverin the clap
shit is whack i know but you didnt listen
caught up in the zone of the pale face tunnel vision

JK im down. white girls are fine

chopsticks

lyrical tactics ascends hailing tsun zu
9th chamber static causes enemies inpotent, flaccid
i role with the eclipsed moon krew, Gang Bing, Liu Ji, Jaio Yu
sending volleys of rhyme tipped arrows, corrosive acid
infiltrate ya kingdom not of lands but of mind, YOU must coincide! resistence is futile.
marble isles, jade tigers, torches lit the hall of master Ying
feel the venoms sting as the angry buddha sings
balanced yang, all hail the WU tang clan
dominance spans across these conquered lands
i dwell in the palace of no man, rather inhabits the dark soul
i got more muthafuckin styles than you got grains in ya rice bowl
counteract monkey fist with panda claw
i do insist cuz im too fast ya neva saw
stormin plaugue like the horde of the huns
divine path of darkness I am the chosen one

i snap back like the properties of bamboo
im still as he moisture of morning dew
unpredictable like the inmpermantent winds
my blade will purge all ye with mortal sins

elementalists conjuring frozen orbs
annihalation of the wicked, death to enemy hordes
epic wars waged in the name of maintaining the balance
to sow the sweet scent of victories fragrance

the infancy of parentals

throughout my life i have witnessed under the loving care of my parents their gradual submission into post modern insanity. I am now able to fully witness the extent of how society has "moulded" them into how it sees fit, and what i see is tragically a spiritless world void of meaning, void of love, compassion and empathy. for them, love is merely a means to make an end, a tool to ensure that their children recieve a safe upringing equipped with dogmatic religious values, so that they may function without question along the assembly line of institutionalized incarceration. religious moral in western mainstream culture provides us with the convenience to worship the dollar. be praised the saviour of all of our woes the monetary and fiscal policies are here to take care of us. "time is money, and money is everything". this mantra has been so deeply ingrained into the grey matter of my parents minds that the very foundation for spirit has been vacated to make way for the "american dream" where suburbia is heaven. being boxed inside a rectangle whithin a rectangle whithin a rectangle doesnt fulfill me in any way as a human being.

unfortunately for my parents, this is all they know, and they are not to be blamed. the leviathan that is postmodern chaos is slowely coming to a bitter halt and its going to take everyone down whos latched on to its ugly hide. my mom being a single parent struggles in raising two young girls as she maintains a mortgage, car payments, ect ect. she neither has time to look after the emotional and psychological needs of my sisters let alone her own. having stayed at my mothers for the week i can see the effects trickle down as it undermines the very foundation of a strong community. no sense of unity whithin the family unit, and without that there is no hope in tribal or community unity. i suppose that is how the game is played, keep your head down, do your work, be a good citizen and if your lucky enough you will get by as these fat fucking industrialists and corporate mongerers wipe their asses with your tax dollars. "Heres fox news!!!, heres MTV!!!, heres mcdonalds!!!, heres CHRISTMAS! EASTER! VALENTINES!!! WOOHOO." distractions distractions.

my father embarasingly enough is the posterboy who relishes in all of these trivial commodoties, right down to hoarding the hotel soap and shampoos. i thought the midlife crisis was just a myth, but i witnessed it first hand as my father bought a new truck and a BMW along with other lame trinckets. sporting a new wardrobe of euro preppy attire from the Diesel shirts to the white pointed elf shoes he left my mother for another woman. these types of cowardly acts can be avoided, its not rocket science. whether you agree with me or not these kinds of isolated incidents that occur incessantly across the western hemisphere evolve into more complicated problems that lead to lost and confused children abusing drugs, having unprotected sex resulting in babies in garbage bins. "generation apathy" i coin it, i look around to the vast majority of kids my age, and i say kids because consciouslly they have not evolved passed the age of 14, they consume anything they can get their greedy paws on. please dont hesitate to call me cynical because i am just that, i am a 60 year old geezer in a 20 year olds body raging and ranting about utoppian realities because i have the right to dream.

but alas, all is not lost. their is a global movement that is working towards a common goal, like minded individuals all over the world are using technologies brought upon the information age to exchange ideas, you no longer need to goto school to become educated, it can all be accessed with the click of the button. this movement to expand and evolve consciousness is still is reaching its pubescant age of angst and the collective mind is undergoing some radical change, soon my comrades, it will be our turn to take a swift kick to the nuts to a obese ideology we call capitalism.


i urge all of you to please take the time to check out this website

www.globalonenessproject.org

self proclaimed tool indeed

the changing time signatures of the song Schism are emulated by my cognitive inability to calm my obsessive thoughts. its as if silence is not an option, but even whithin the indecisiveness of my rising sign, somehow the choas conducts a wonderfuly colorful, beautifuly tragic swan song of polarities and everything in between. that song hasnt made me wept for a very long time, but today maynards determined voice and hopeful lyrics ruptured a vessel.

as the salty tears streamed, my ego screamed in agony, my masculine energies subsided briefly as the walls of jericho beffelled, revealing a naked soul picking at his own scabs. utterly disgusted with what i saw i felt the expulsion of pride and self pity spew onto a pallet. my weary eyes witnessed the horrific monster that dwells whithin. a self proclaimed tool indeed. the fundamental differnce between us manifests at our level of existence through a hiarchichal ladder of dualities, or the illusion thereof. cosmically i know that the pieces fit so why hasnt it trickled down to our level? our pure intentions however recieved are juxtoposed, beckoning our love in motion to seek one.

the both of us have taken constant battering, the pain we endure is self inflicted but we point the finger thus disintegrating our modes of communication quite literally. the passionate flame that i was addicted to was the very thing that left the ciggarette burns in our flesh. no ends are met, only lingering jesters laugh at my foolish existence. i single handedly watched this tower of babel climb higher than i have ever concieved, the pride of my love manifested its own crippling collums. the higher we climbed the further we fall, the tongue of satan decieved us both resulting in our most unfortunate demise. all i can do now is walk around a very short oroboros. "The poetry That comes from the squaring off between, And the circling, is worth it Finding beauty in the dissonance." how beautifully tragic it is. for what its worth, i am most regretably sorry for my own insecurities, i am most regretably sorry for causing you suffering. the dangers of a second guessing? i would gamble all i have for a second chance. do i deserve it?. probably not, so let it be known that this is a lesson learned. I KNOW the pieces fit.

i still love you, more than i ever have. and i will always love you. if this marks defeat for the inability for global unity, it has been best expressed on this level. proof that this age needs to perish, these two fish swimming around need to die so aquarius can clean out the bowl, may mom flush it all away. hopefully after i perish and travel through the bardo realms to be reborn again, i may meet you there in whatever form we take and finally be able to die into one another.

Cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers

inspiration

the 90s brought the golden generation of hip hop culture, it reached its wonderful peak during these years. its really difficult to find this kind of spirit these days. it is one of my life missions to channel this lost energy into the present time, and to preserve what used to be the real hip hop soul.

dedicated to all the trends and scenes.

i came across a dooope track by the grouch called artsy, then i heard the edit remix and nearly shit the bed. we are all labeled into a scene or whatever, dont even try to deny it because you'd be really dumb to. these lyrics poke fun at our preferred styles and our elitist tendencies even if we think we aren't. some are better than others but yea your still in a scene whether you like it or not. so take one for the team, be humbled from these lyrics and don't forget who you are.

You ain’t artsier than me…
Cuz you got sideburns and a vintage Tee

i said You ain’t artsier than me…
Cuz you pluck a guitar.. that ain’t fuckin bizarre

You ain’t artsier than me…
Cuz you live in Los Felis, bitch you ain’t jesus

You ain’t artsier than me…
I got a colorful vocab… watch the low jab.

So what you’re a vegan?
It shows in your presence you be geekin’
and you be seeking the same life
speakin the game like the enemy

hang tight

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you chop up breaks and you dig in the crates

You ain’t artsier than me…
You’re just a trendy lesbian.. dreadlocked thespian

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you make weed brownies and knit wool hats

You ain’t artsier than me…
you pseduo-elitst old-school sap

I Bang for good fools
I kill for nothin
I bill for something
FAMILY and PEACE

you be whorin’ at a comfortable pace
you be skippin a chore just to jump in the race
I be bumpin my bass like you collect comics
I’m not weird. I’m honest

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you only read books, don’t watch tv.

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you shop at whole foods in open-toed shoes

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you speak real soft and drink chai tea

You ain’t artsier than me…
I recycle too… I’m kinda like you

I just look cleaner. grown demeanor
wear deoderant… registered voter and
tree hugger too… not in these clothes
me lovin you but it’s gotta be both ways

most days I’m earthy, stay grounded…
often it’s a paper chase.. I’m well rounded
straight to face
it’s all boundless
i’ll make a sound universally dope

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you drive a hybrid and carpool with three

You ain’t artsier than me…
cuz you a sixteenth mexican, you ain’t ethnic and

You ain’t artsier than me…
you’re just a broke-ass poet with the same old cadence

You ain’t artsier than me…
we was conscious first… welcome to earth.

Pain killers for dinners

In the white overcoat we choose to trust. Within the fuss concernin our lust for health. But since when was health a matter of the purchased pills upon a shelf? Learn your self, and the esoteric wealth of your own healing capabilities. Is it really a necessity to ask your doctor about Prilosec? You better bet that it’s the fucking same as Nexium. Excuse me ummmmn, cant you see big pharma feeds off of your cyclic karma? Your best friend is a little pressed tablet stored carefully in your cabinet, if you really want to khow whats keeping ya flaccid, it’s the shady tactics of Johnson and Johnson. He blossoms in your fake diagnosis of your self induced psychosis. Sclerosis encasing you within a worried shell, Phobic neurosis flickering strobic dualities. Your confused as fuck. Day to day insanities got you down? well lets fix that frown with paxil. SSRIS overdose give ya a fuckin death thrill. Claritin clear ya sinuses by injecting more viruses, acetaminophen to numb the pain of the brain, you fiend for codeine. lipitors got you bangin your head on the floor, the core of your spirit has been hijacked cuz you took prozac, battle heart attack with more aspirin, the shit makes ya blood thin. My libido cant be hidden by a speedo, im horny as hell cant you tell? But oh shit I have a problem at this conjunction and they call it erectile dysfunction. Well how bout you stop pumpin that toxic love into the physical and I wont have to get a physical. Father Pfizer ive never met one whos wizer, prescribe me with another useless pill so my soul may exhume from this experimented body. The lines are foggy between real and fake, whats at stake? Its your very essence of being tempted by the devil manifest. Get this fucking weight off my chest, I don’t want the comfort of a barbiturate. Are you in favour for a bronchodilator? Treats many a flavour such as asthma, bronchitis or emphysema. Neglect the cause of polluted fogs, of carcinogens creating infected phlegm. Depression endogenous, caused by outward effects of a collected death, chest heaving till I exhale my final breath I lay this weary conscious to rest. Suffering from premature dementia, loss of memory, suspended animation in revery, loss of reality and intellectual decline of the connection with the divine. The world is spinning so fast we all suffer from vertigo. Use the media for placebo, Your daily dose of distractions of brightly coloured circus attractions, bow down to big pharmas faction, for there is no escape from the corporate fist, might as well buy into their synthetic bliss.

free to roam
in this fleshy vehicle seats a soul
pure awareness inclusively accepting
all that is all that was and all that will be
eternal, beyond the horizon of conceivable seas
resides untouched lands pristine in tranquility
crystalline vegetation bear gems of fruit
underneath the closed lids i can see
a co creative process of color and shape
transporting me to kaleidoscope shores, alien landscapes
i wonder will the inhabitants welcome me?
this is their territory, home of the fractal felines
they tell me as long as i leave my ego at the door
i am welcome to experience the hidden beauty of this godless world
the esoteric lore, a core made of crystallized white light.
in an instantaneous moment of i was shown the horrific nature of where i came.
my fractal hosts spoke to me in a visual language not of sound but of intuition.
they showed me how my feelings could manifest in colored forms.
i was informed that i was needed back. my work on the earthly realm was unfinished