self proclaimed tool indeed

the changing time signatures of the song Schism are emulated by my cognitive inability to calm my obsessive thoughts. its as if silence is not an option, but even whithin the indecisiveness of my rising sign, somehow the choas conducts a wonderfuly colorful, beautifuly tragic swan song of polarities and everything in between. that song hasnt made me wept for a very long time, but today maynards determined voice and hopeful lyrics ruptured a vessel.

as the salty tears streamed, my ego screamed in agony, my masculine energies subsided briefly as the walls of jericho beffelled, revealing a naked soul picking at his own scabs. utterly disgusted with what i saw i felt the expulsion of pride and self pity spew onto a pallet. my weary eyes witnessed the horrific monster that dwells whithin. a self proclaimed tool indeed. the fundamental differnce between us manifests at our level of existence through a hiarchichal ladder of dualities, or the illusion thereof. cosmically i know that the pieces fit so why hasnt it trickled down to our level? our pure intentions however recieved are juxtoposed, beckoning our love in motion to seek one.

the both of us have taken constant battering, the pain we endure is self inflicted but we point the finger thus disintegrating our modes of communication quite literally. the passionate flame that i was addicted to was the very thing that left the ciggarette burns in our flesh. no ends are met, only lingering jesters laugh at my foolish existence. i single handedly watched this tower of babel climb higher than i have ever concieved, the pride of my love manifested its own crippling collums. the higher we climbed the further we fall, the tongue of satan decieved us both resulting in our most unfortunate demise. all i can do now is walk around a very short oroboros. "The poetry That comes from the squaring off between, And the circling, is worth it Finding beauty in the dissonance." how beautifully tragic it is. for what its worth, i am most regretably sorry for my own insecurities, i am most regretably sorry for causing you suffering. the dangers of a second guessing? i would gamble all i have for a second chance. do i deserve it?. probably not, so let it be known that this is a lesson learned. I KNOW the pieces fit.

i still love you, more than i ever have. and i will always love you. if this marks defeat for the inability for global unity, it has been best expressed on this level. proof that this age needs to perish, these two fish swimming around need to die so aquarius can clean out the bowl, may mom flush it all away. hopefully after i perish and travel through the bardo realms to be reborn again, i may meet you there in whatever form we take and finally be able to die into one another.

Cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers